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Plant Shadow
Jenny Pan

Jenny Pan, AMFT

Welcome! I’m Jenny—a therapist, a mom, a stepmom, and someone who knows firsthand how complicated and beautiful blended families can be.


I didn’t set out to become a blended family expert. Life just handed it to me.

 

After my 15-year marriage ended, I rebuilt. I healed. And I fell in love again—this time with a man who had adult children of his own. Now, we’re parenting two teens and walking alongside two grown kids. It’s not a straight line. It’s not always smooth. But it’s real—and full of meaning.


We’re a neurodiverse, multicultural, blended family—and every day, we work to communicate, repair, and love intentionally. That lived experience is what I bring to my work with couples and families like yours.
 

At the Blended Family Counseling Center, I help families navigate the real-life challenges that come with second-chapter relationships, parenting across households, and healing from past hurts—so that every member of your family can feel seen, safe, and valued.

Between Cultures, Between Roles

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I was born in Taiwan and moved to New York at age nine.

 

Growing up as a first-generation Chinese American meant straddling two cultures, speaking two languages (Mandarin and English), and often feeling like I didn’t fully belong in either world.

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Layer in undiagnosed ADHD, perfectionism, and the pressure to perform, and you’ve got someone who became an expert at “holding it together” on the outside—even while struggling deeply on the inside.

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Therapy helped me stop surviving and start living. It gave me tools, language, and self-compassion.

 

Becoming a therapist was how I decided to pay that forward.

Couples Therapy for the Real Stuff

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Blended families aren’t easy. You’re managing emotional histories, parenting philosophies, ex-partners, step-sibling tensions, and a never-ending calendar of logistics.

 

On top of that, you’re trying to maintain intimacy, emotional safety, and communication in your marriage.

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Couples often come to me with questions like:

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  • “Why does everything feel harder than it should?”
     

  • “How do I support my partner’s parenting style when I disagree with it?”
     

  • “Why do I feel like the outsider in my own family?”
     

  • “Can we ever stop fighting about the kids, the schedule, the exes, or the chores?”
     

These aren’t signs that you’re doing it wrong. They’re signs that you need a space to work it through—with clarity and care.

My Approach

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I help couples slow down, de-escalate, and start hearing each other again.

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In our work together, we’ll explore:

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  • How your past experiences shape your current dynamics
     

  • Why small things become big fights—and how to stop that cycle
     

  • What’s underneath the arguments: fear, longing, exhaustion, disconnection
     

  • How to parent together, even if you weren’t both there from the beginning
     

  • How to support kids without losing your connection as a couple
     

I take a direct but compassionate approach.

 

I don’t take sides—I take the side of the relationship. I help both partners feel heard and understood while offering structure and tools that lead to actual change.

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What You Can Expect

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My style is warm, grounded, and practical. I’m not here to fix you—I’m here to help you understand yourself and your family better, so you can live and love with more intention.

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In sessions, you’ll gain:

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  • Clarity on patterns that keep you stuck
     

  • Tools for real-time communication and repair
     

  • Support for parenting and stepparenting stress
     

  • A deeper sense of emotional partnership

Working with Blended Families

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There is no “normal” in a blended family—there is only what works for your family. I help clients navigate:
 

  • Loyalty binds and unclear roles
     

  • Stepparent/biological parent tension
     

  • Conflicting parenting philosophies
     

  • Communication breakdowns between ex-partners
     

  • Sensory needs, emotional regulation, or ADHD within the parenting structure
     

  • How to support neurodivergent children in complex households
     

I also work with parents on staying connected as a couple while co-parenting—because your marriage needs tending, even when the kids are center stage.

Why I Do This Work
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I became a therapist because therapy gave me my life back.

 

It helped me stop blaming myself and start understanding myself.

 

It helped me show up for my kids, my partner, and most importantly—for me.

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Now I help others walk that same path: from burnout to clarity, from resentment to reconnection, from chaos to calm.

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If your blended family feels complicated, overwhelming, or disconnected—you’re not alone. With the right support, you can move from friction to flow, from surviving to thriving.

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Let’s build something strong, steady, and real—together.

Modalities & License
 

Modalities

 

  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

  • Gottman Method for Couples (Level 1)

  • Attachment-Based Therapy

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

  • Divorce Recovery & Rebuilding Work

  • Parenting and Blended Family Coaching

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Education

  • M.A. Marriage and Family Therapy, Western Seminary

  • B.S. Finance & Accounting, New York University

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License:
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